My Story – DieselDucy

My story about dealing with Autism

If you made it this far, you must really be interested in who I am and why I do what I do. So let’s go to the beginning. 1977 Disco was big and so was hair. That is when I came into this world. I came in just like any other baby. I don’t remember a lot but I can remember some stuff from my infancy. I can remember laying in my crib playing with my mobile :). Anyway, Not much happened in the first year however by the time I was 2 my parents realized I had some issues. I was very hyper but yet I was delayed in walking and talking. One specific memory I have from 1979 was going into Kroger in Des Peres MO and my daddy buying my yellow DieselDucy. That is the original. Anyway back on topic, I was 3 and a half years old and had not uttered a single word. Then one day, we were driving by the Shell Station on Manchester road. I was in the back of the Oldsmobile and out of my mouth came “Look, Mommy, over at the Phillips 66 station. An orange truck is filling the tanks with gasoline.” Mommy was so shocked she had to pull into the gas station and call Daddy to come up there.

I can vividly remember pre-school in 1980 and 1981. I attended Visitation Academy in St. Louis and that did not last long. For some reason, I would keep chasing after this girl named Hillary and I would pull her hair. I did this so much that I had to be removed from the school. This was the point that my parents realized I had some serious social issues. I ended up going to Parkway Nursery School on Clayton Road and that ended up working out. I still remember the “it’s time to put the toys away” song I learned there LOL.

At this point in my life, I was diagnosed with ADD and Hyperactivity as I was VERY hyper and couldn’t pay attention to save my life. I was one of the “Ritalin Guinea Pigs” and got put on that crap. (I do NOT believe in this kind of drugs now) The Ritalin appeared to help somewhat but I was still quite hyper. At this point in life, I was quite happy but hyper and it was sometime in 1980 or 1981 that I found my love of elevators.

Finding my love of elevators

I will never forget this because this is where my elevator enthusiasm started. We were at West County Center in Des Peres MO. It was not my first time there but the first time I remember anything about it. I was 3 years old. We walked into Famous Barr and Mommy said: “We are going to go down the elevator.” I said, “What’s that?” My mom told me that it was an elevator. I thought it looked kinda scary. This white door with a line down the middle. Mom asked me if I wanted to push the button. She picked me up and I pressed it and the doors opened. I thought it was cool but kinda scared at the same time. We enter the car, she picks me up, I press 1 and the doors close. 30 seconds later they open up and there is a different surrounding! I thought it was magic! I said to Mommy “Let’s do that again!” So we took a few more rides and ever since then I was hooked. That briefly changed a few years later but that comes later in this story 🙂

Starting the journey known as school

I can’t remember the exact year but I am pretty sure it was 1982. I started my journey in school. I attended a school called the Miriam School in Webster Groves MO. The Miriam School was a special school for learning disabled students. I was there for 4 years from 1982-1986. Overall it was a good experience. I had a VERY hard time but got great help and support from the faculty and my parents. I made some friends there but due to how different I was, I did get picked on a regular basis. I was a frequent visitor to the time out chair because kids like Tim Frazier would put me up to saying “dirty words” on the playground. Apart from that Miriam School was not that bad of an experience.

In 1986, I started attending a school called the St. Michael’s School in Clayton MO. This too was a pretty good experience. I was there for grades 4, 5, and 6 and had Ms. Spencer, Ms. Kuriger, and Mr. Jordan. It was here that I started making some friends, in spite of my social awkwardness. I remember Leanne Littlefield, (pictured left) Melissa Morley, Michael Gaffney, and Matthew Barrett just to name a few. This is also the point where I made a discovery of something else I loved. The Nintendo Entertainment System. I was over at Michael’s House and saw Super Mario Bros for the first time in my life. I got one for Christmas of 1988 and I can remember spending countless hours in front of it to go back and trade tips and secrets with the other 2 kids Matthew and Michael in my 6th grade class of 3 people. This is also the time period I dreamed up “elevator photography” I was sitting in my 5th-grade classroom sometime in 1987 reading a national geographic magazine. I saw the elevator in the Marriott Marquis in an article. I thought to myself. I would LOVE to ride this elevator. I also saw a video camera on the AV cart next to the VCR. I thought to myself, I want to take a video camera to the Marriott and record the elevators. More on this later, this is just where the dream started but my love of elevators would soon turn to fear.

Emergency stop

It was summer 1988, my family and I took a vacation to Disney World and then Sanibel Island FL. Of course, I absolutely loved Disney World but my real amusement ride which also became my own personal tower of terror was in Sanibel Island. We stayed in this complex called Gulf Beach Condominium on E. Gulf Drive. It was 3 stories and upon arriving at this nice beach front property, I could have cared less about the beach when I made the discovery that this place had an elevator!! It was an outside elevator as the building was arranged like a motel with exterior corridors. The very next day, I took to my thrill ride and started riding. After about 3 trips, the door opened and there was Mommy. She looked at me sternly and said: “If you keep riding up and down like that you will burn out the motor and have to pay for it with your allowance for the rest of your life!!” Well, this kinda scared me but not nearly as much as what was about to happen. So I went back to riding but after about each 3rd or 4th trip, I would let the elevator rest for about a minute. Then after about an hour of riding up and down, it happened. The elevator got stuck between the 1st and 2nd floor. I was terrified and totally panicked. At the time I had many fears, airplanes, dogs, bees, and loud noises. I looked at the emergency button and gave it a quick tap. It was not too loud, so I proceed to hold it down to sound the alarm. I rang it, screamed, and kicked on the door. After about 5 minutes the elevator started moving again and the door finally opened. I ran off the elevator and there was an elderly woman there wondering what all the noise was. I told her what happened and she told me I better go and tell my mom. Which I did. Mom told me that everything was OK but this was one of the last times I set foot in an elevator for about 2 years.

Lots of steps (and other hurdles)

Okay, now we are up to 1988 whereas you are aware I am now terrified of elevators among other things. I started back to school that fall (1988) and it was my last year of elementary school at St. Michael’s school. I was in a class with 2 other boys, Matthew and Michael. I was still doing decent in school thanks to my teachers. Mr. Jordan and Mrs. Kuriger. The thing now, I was basically becoming afraid of everything. Elevators, Airplanes, Dogs, and bees just to name a few things. I was practically afraid to go outside thinking I would be attacked by a bee or dog. I also remember going to my therapist, Dr. Karen Marwitt who was a BIG help at the time. She was on the 4th floor of 4000 Maryland in Clayton. I was so scared to ride the elevators that the security guard had to watch us go up or we would take the stairs. I was kinda upset because I loved elevators, but I was was terrified to ride on one because of what happened at Sanibel Island. Not all in life was bad. I became close friends with Matthew and Michael and that Christmas, I got something that made my life a lot better. My Nintendo Entertainment System! Yeah, I had been over at Michael’s house at one point and experienced the joy of Super Mario Bros for the first time! It was so amazing. It made Atari look stone age! So that Christmas, Santa Claus brought me a NES! Oh yeah, the Nintendo, I spent countless hours in front of this thing. Not only by myself but I was always going over to Matthew and Michael’s houses to play NES with them (they were 2 good friends in 5th and 6th grade). I can still remember sometime in 1989 when I beat the Legend of Zelda for the first time! I couldn’t wait to tell my mom. I ran off the elevator at Jewish Hospital to tell her as she was visiting my dying grandmother. Anyway the rest of 1988 and 1989 were pretty uneventful. I successfully finished elementary school.

Things get better and worse

Fall of 1989, I finished elementary school, Now I start middle school. I thought it was awesome! Each class took place in a different room. When the bell went off I had 5 minutes to dart to my next class at Westminster Christian Academy. I loved it. It was so different from elementary school. There was no recess but I sure did enjoy lunchtime!. It was also here that I met Dan Gerry who will play an important role in my life. I am still at the point in my life where I was quite afraid of stuff, elevators included. I also really started noticing the girls 🙂 . I don’t have a lot of memories from 7th grade but the senior girls loved me and I spent all my lunches with the 8th grade girls. Summer of 1990 was really a turning point as far as overcoming my fears. In the summer of 1990, we went back to our vacation spot, Sanibel Island, the same place that started my fear of elevators. I will never forget this. I decided I don’t want to be afraid anymore. So one day I was down there, I told my mother I was going for a walk. Anyway, I took a walk, right down the corridor to the same elevator that brought the fear into my life. I looked at it, nobody else was around in this little bitty apartment complex and I thought, “I am not gonna be afraid anymore” I pressed the call button, it came and opened up. I stepped in it pressed the G button and got off. It went down and I called it back up. This time I enter the elevator, let the door close and then press the door open. Now I nervously press the G button, the door closes, down it goes and it opens up on G. I send it back up to 2 and Up I go. I did this about 2 or 3 more times and then head back to our unit. Mom tells me I am back awful quick. I just said I was riding the elevator. She says “Bullshit you are terrified of elevators” I just look at her and say “I rode the elevator” she again says “that’s bullshit.” I tell her to come with me. I take her to the elevator, get in and ride down and back up. When I get off she runs down the hall screaming for my father. HE IS NOT AFRAID OF ELEVATORS ANYMORE! She was so happy she almost started crying and gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. Daddy said “I guess our days of walking stairs are over” and he laughed. From this point on I would never be afraid of elevators again. OK so now I am over my fear of elevators, however, all hell in my life is about to break loose. I am turning 13 years old and starting puberty. Being drugged up on Ritalin and several other drugs and puberty do not mix well. I started 8th grade at Westminster Christian Academy and this is when it started. For some reason, I started to severely regress and it was not pretty. I started developing behavior issues as well as my ADHD symptoms. Not only was I having issues paying attention, now I was doing bad things like breaking pencil sharpeners, as well like talking about very inappropriate things and being nasty to teachers. Long story short, I was being sent to the office almost every day and became very well known in detention hall. It got to the point where I couldn’t even function in school. November 28th, 1990, I was taken to what I thought was a routine visit to my doctor, however, I was told I was being sent to child psychiatry in St. Louis Childrens Hospital. This did not set well with me as I was terrified of being away from my parents. I arrived at the hospital and was not very happy until I found out I was gonna be on the 9th floor and they had fast Otis Lexan elevators :). Anyway, my parents FINALLY bought me a Nintendo Gameboy which I still have to this day. I don’t remember a lot about being in the hospital except the food was good and I was rewarded for good behavior by getting elevator rides. Also got to meet several celebrities and sports players like Andy Van Slyke. (to be continued soon)